I can't function in this mess anymore! I'm tired of living in piles of crates and boxes. Everything I own is stored in the room where I am sleeping and I can't take it anymore! [It is a very big room but the boxes are piled to the ceiling.] When I moved back in with my folks after Katrina, we just piled everything up helter skelter. But the haphazard mess makes me feel like a mess, myself.
So this week I'm moving out of the grief stage and into the anger stage. And I'm channeling that energy into unpacking and organizing. After the storm, I wished that there was nothing to salvage. I just didn't wan't to deal with stuff at that moment. Isn't that terrible; I felt a little guilty about wishing I had lost everything and gotten an insurance check. Oh, well; can't deny my failings.
So I'm getting it organized so that I can sell all of it; I don't want to see any of it ever again. When I start to auction it off on eBay, I'll put a link here so you can bid on it. LOL. Just think, someday you might own my lamp or spatula... You could say, "Hey, this used to belong to Patrick before he pulled a Dave Chappelle and ran away from his mess of a life; I got it for next to nothing at auction."
I'm not trying to be negative in this; just honest about where I am right now. I read back over the last entries I've made since returning to America and realized that I have been talking about pop culture because I didn't want to face the real issues I need to deal with. But here they are in black and white. That's as good of a first step as I can make.
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the people I know, the places I go, the things I show, you know, they're nouns
About Me
- Patrick
- I'm a media buff. I'm always reading, watching or listening. Or making up something of my own. I like to dive into the mess of the creative process. I equally enjoy cleaning up afterward. I believe in Jesus Christ. He's my best friend. I think He's the only person who gets me.
2 comments:
i lived for a summer out of the backseat of my car. i had a hockey bag full of clothes and a smaller bag i would pack from it as i stayed at random houses each night. all of my stuff was in storage. i kept out the clothes, a few cds, a pile of books, my climbing equipment (which i didn't use all summer). i was jobless and nestless. it was, for me, the greatest summer of my life, though by all standards, i should have been miserable. God always provided... the bills found a way to get paid, i always had somewhere to sleep and food in my stomach. i was never in want, but what i wanted shifted tremendously.
i learned to accept help from others, something i had hated doing. someone said to me once, 'it blesses me when you allow me to bless you.'
as a person who thrives on organization and routine and on a sense of having a place to call my own, i had to learn to be me without a routine, without a nest. i grew so much that summer. it was two years ago.
you will walk on the other side. i promise.
in the meantime, know that i pray. i pray you find your peace.
Thanks for your prayers. I am encouraged by what you wrote.
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