HAPPY LIAR'S DAY?

Well, like many Americans, I shopped for a Father's Day card this week. After looking at five stores for the perfect card for Dad, I'm left with this burning question: Why do greeting card makers lie? They don't just fudge a little or embellish the truth a hair. They flat out lie when they write these cards. I have never met a father anything like the uber-dads these cards fabricate. Card after card carried sentiments that I would never express to my father.

Each year, I've been able to find a card that said something like, "Dad, happy Father's Day. I love you." It's usually a search, but it's never been like this before; I mean, five stores! It took that long to find a card that listed qualities that my dad actually posesses without sinking into hyperbole.

Is my Dad a criminal? Is he an abusive animal? No! He's a stand-up guy: honest, brave, caring, true (a real-life Boy Scout - literally, he was a troup leader and everything!) One of the things I respect the most about my father is that he is a great Dad, always giving me the best he had - always there for me - in spite of his weaknesses and shortcomings. And because he isn't perfect, he doesn't expect me to be. But the cards I found this week were written about somebody who doesn't exist - a super father who never makes mistakes. Or else, they were crude and insulting attempts at juvenile humor, or something meant to be given by a five-year-old.

So, I'm throwing this wish out into cyberspace: I'd like a line of Father's day cards with realistic, honest, simple sentiments. Or even better, a nice card that says, "Happy Father's Day" on the cover and is blank on the inside. Maybe next year, I'll just write him a letter. He'd probably like that better, anyway.