Sunday, November 20, 2005

THANK YOU!

I like to practice my writing with trivial stuff that I find amusing or annoying or whatever, so I don't normally directly address my spiritual life in this blog, but I've got to do it today.

Church hit me right between the eyes. I knew I had it coming, but in both services it was like the sermons were spoken right to me. Even the Sunday School lesson was a bullseye.

The main thing I came away with was this life lesson: I've got to admit that I'm depressed before Jesus can help me recover from it. I've been spending all my energy denying the problem instead of just owning up to it and asking God for help. So, here's my real first step: Help, God!

Here was another thing I need to write down before I forget it. Men tend to look to their careers to define their self image, and when work goes bad or stops, men are more vulnerable to depression and temptation. That's normal. Another one that I'll file away for later: women tend to look to their relationship with their partner rather than work. So they tend to get depressed and tempted when they perceive the relationship as having problems, or when they are between relationships. I don't know if that's true or not, but the work thing is for me.

But I don't want it to be! I don't want to be defined by a job, good or bad. I want to be defined by God's design and plan for me as his creation and the object of his affection. And I want to be stable emotionally no matter what my work circumstances are. Like Paul and Silas, I want to sing out from the jail cell! So I'm going to rally my faith and fight this thing like my life depends on it. I'm going to focus on Jesus and not my circumstances, and (it's Thanksgiving for cryin' out loud so this part should be easy) praise God with a thankful heart for his blessings, most of all his gift of Jesus, who, by the way, has stuck with me like glue through this whole ordeal!