I'M CHERRY PIE A LA MODE

I'm propped up in bed, watching President Bush give his State of the Union Address, typing happily on my HP. I just took a couple of goofy online quizzes to see what flavors of pie and ice cream I would be. I glanced around the room, and I thought, "This is a moment I want to remember."

You Are Cherry Pie

You're the perfect combo of innocent and sexy Those who like you enjoy a contradiction

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Your Icecream Flavour is... French Vanilla!

You're a smooth and silky suave type! You exude class and you believe in tradition. A classical taste who doesn't like things to be too flashy or showy. Climb the Eiffel tower of taste with a spoonfull of you! Oui Oui!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

WELL, HAVE YOU EVER?

What a swell party this is... (If you get that movie reference, then 5 bonus points for you.)

HAVE YOU EVER...

Smoked a cigarette: NO
Wrecked a car: NO
Stolen a car: NO
Gotten a speeding/parking ticket: NO
Been dumped: YES
Shoplifted: YES
Been fired/laid off: NO
Been in a fist fight: NO
Snuck out of your parents' house: NO
Been arrested: NO
Gone on a blind date: NO
Lied to a friend: YES
Skipped school: YES
Seen someone die: NO
Been to Mexico: NO
Been to Europe: YES
Eaten sushi: YES
Met someone in person you met on the internet: NO
Taken pain killers: YES
Had a tea party: YES
Cheated while playing a game: YES
Fallen asleep at work: YES
Used a fake ID: NO
Had surgery: YES
Felt an earthquake: NO
Experienced a tornado/hurricane: YES
Thrown-up in a public place: YES
Touched a snake: YES
Been robbed: YES
Broken a bone: NO
Slow danced with someone you love: YES
Petted a deer/goat: YES
Won a contest: YES
Hit a home run: YES
Been suspended from school: NO
Been in a car accident: YES
Made a speech: YES
Partied till dawn: YES
Had braces: NO
Gotten stitches: YES
Been spanked: YES
Sat/Stood in a corner: YES
Eaten a pint or more of ice cream in one night: YES
Witnessed a crime: YES
Swam in the ocean: YES
Climbed a moutain: YES
Been struck by lightning: NO
Flown: YES
Sailed: YES
Sung karaoke: YES
Snuck into a movie: NO
Paid for a meal with only coins: YES
Laughed until a beverage came out of your nose: YES
Been kissed under mistletoe: YES
Crashed a party: NO
Slept in church: YES
Worn pearls: NO
Had braces: NO
Slept in a cabin/tent: YES
Jumped off a bridge: NO
Eaten pet food: NO
Kissed a mirror: NO
Bowled a strike: YES
Glued your hand to something: YES
Done a one-handed cartwheel: NO
Cheated on a test: YES
Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours: YES
Skipped showering for a week: YES
Gone skinny dipping: NO
Picked and eaten fruit right off the tree: YES
Been told by a complete stranger that you're cute: YES

WE'VE SECRETLY REPLACED...

...today's post with **NEW** Folger's Crystals! Let's see if anyone can tell the difference.

SNL

I want to write for SNL. I'm funny about half the time, so I think we'd be a good match.

Here's an idea for a parody I think everyone would enjoy. You know Nokia's "It's Your Life in There" ad campaign. Blah...well anyway, picture Ed, the guy who sings along with his ringtone. Well, I'd cast Horatio Sanz in the part. Can you picture it? Just about the time he gets really into singing his "Good Old Boys" theme song, a hand should reach out from behind the camera and smack him. Or even better, the camera could swing around and Simon, Paula, and Randy could critique his performance. "I'm not being rude, Ed, but your performance was awful, the worst we've ever heard..."

Wouldn't that be sweet?

What commercial really gets on your nerves?

MY NOSTRIL

Stephen just bought a new digital camera. It's, like, a 5 megapixel or something, so the resolution is crazy astounding when compared to my sad 2.1 megapixel Sony. Ben took all of these stupid pictures with it yesterday. For example, he put the lense in his mouth and took one of his tonsils. But my favorite was the one he shot up my nose. I was blinded by the flash, but the end result was worth a little pain. I'm not posting the picture here, so you'll just have to use your imagination.

On a related side note, Jenny told me yesterday that film companies have stopped manufacturing black and white film. Is that for real? If so, I'm sad. Not that I ever used b/w, but I still hate to see it go.

GOOGLE IN CHINA

I just googled the word "Freedom." If I lived in China, I couldn't have done that search. What do you think about that policy?

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please read these two blogs:

Google's official blog about it

Scott Adam's blog about it

CHALLENGER

I hate news articles. They take something personal and emotional and real. They slap the event onto a journalistic operating table, cut the heart out and sew the story back together as a Frankenstein’s monster of black and white facts and figures. I guess that’s why I prefer blogs.

Case in point: I just read MSNBC’s article on the Challenger accident. James Oberg’s angle seemed to be to write the piece as a “mythbuster” style expose, a “we know what happened better than you do, even though you were there” article. Here’s my least favorite quote: “Historians, reporters, and every citizen need to take the time this week to remember what really happened, and especially to make sure their memories are as close as humanly possible to what really did happen.” That just speaks volumes, doesn’t it? In effect, he’s saying, “Hey, I’m a journalist, so pardon me while I tell you what to think and what to remember about what happened to you.” Contrast that attitude with the typical blogger who says, “Hey, this event happened to me personally and this is how I remember it and feel about it.”

The article mostly just seemed to quibble over words and nuances, like the definition of “explosion.” Give me a break. I really had trouble with the main distinction Oberg tried to make between people like me who watched it live and most of the general population who caught it later that day on tape. He accurately points out that not many people caught the actual live broadcast, but I think he is missing the point. I mean, I wasn’t watching live TV when the planes hit the Twin Towers, but the deal was that I did see it happen on TV. A small time delay didn’t make it any less unreal or any more palatable. I think the same is true of the Challenger tragedy. Who cares when we watched it? We did, in effect, all watch it. And we all felt like we watched it together.

So in an effort to counter balance that historically revisionist article, here are some of the things that I remember from that day: 20 years ago today, I was an 11-year-old 5th grader in Mrs. Holcomb’s class. NASA had spent a lot of time and money that year on a campaign to sell the space program to America’s school kids, myself included. Knowing that mostly just school kids got to watch the launch via satellite made me feel like a dignitary. This was the kids’ launch, after all. NASA said so. They even went so far as to put Christa McAuliffe, a teacher, on the flight crew.

Their campaign was a success. We identified with the crew. We had studied their bios and drawn pictures of them to hang on our bulletin boards. The models we made of the space shuttle hung from yarn all around our classroom. My group of friends and I played “space camp” during every afternoon recess. Challenger filled our school culture. It filled our class time. It filled our dreams.

So when it suddenly went missing in a cloud of flames, it left my generation of school kids empty and hurting. Our cheers of joy died into shocked silence. I had talked about the space shuttle launch every single day from the time my teacher told me about it until the moment it happened. But after that day, I didn’t talk about it again for years. The crew’s pictures came down off the bulletin board and the models went into the trash. My friends and I stopped playing astronauts and went back to kickball. NASA had lost its place in our imaginations. It was the end of an era.

I can still remember the newspaper picture of the local teacher who just missed her chance of flying on the Challenger. I think she and I had a lot in common that year. With our feet safely resting on the ground, we found our hearts hurting and our dreams disappointed, our lives forever altered by the tragedy that was the Space Shuttle Challenger.

N'MIND

Well, the problem seems to have corrected itself.

S. O. S.

My sidebar has freaked out. If anybody can help me, I'm asking for advice. I'm guessing it's a problem with the template's code. I added flickr and this happened. I moved it lower in the sequence of code, but it didn't fix it. Neither did removing the flickr stream. I'm wondering if I accidentally deleted something, but I don't know html well enough to know what to look for. I know this site now looks dumb, though. So if anybody can tell me anything, please leave a comment. Looks like a good time for me to start learning html. Thanks! Feel free to view the page source and tell me what I've done wrong.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME...

I Wish I had a Fairy Sanitation Mother like Scott Adams seems to have...Oh, well. I've run out of ideas for this. Went to the creativity bank and found a zero balance in my account. I have no clue about what to blog about today. I'm busy packing and wrapping up things here in Germany for my flight back to the good ol' U. S. of A. Sorry I don't have anything else to show & tell. But here's a little Dilbert for you just the same.

THE FUNNY STUFF

PUBLIC NOTICE: THE FOLLOWING ANECDOTES ARE SHARED TO BE HUMOROUS, NOT OFFENSIVE. I HAVE MET WONDERFUL GERMANS AND AM NOT STEREOTYPING TO BE MEAN OR CRITICAL. IF YOU DON'T GET THAT I'M JUST MAKING A JOKE, THEN GROW A SENSE OF HUMOR...READ SOME OF MY ARCHIVES, AND YOU'LL SEE THAT I MAKE FUN OF STUPID THINGS IN AMERICA ALL THE TIME

Sitting at an intersection in Harburg tonight, the light changed to green. When the car in front of us didn't budge, a driver HONKED! I was shocked, until the thought hit me that honking like that wasn't considered rude here in Germany like it would have been back home in Mississippi. MS drivers would never honk at the car in front of them. They might eventually pull around the car (if the driver had fallen asleep at the wheel, or somthing), but honk? No way. So this experience tonight turned my thoughts to all of the other funny cultural differences I've observed. Here are a few.

In MS we have dirt and gravel roads in some places. But here in Germany, they have BONG BONG STREETS. I kid you not! They call an old-fashioned stone road a Bong Bong Straße. They gave them this name for exactly the reason you would guess. When you drive down them, you make a noise like, "Bong! Bong! Bong!" Funny, eh?

What else? Well, instead of a "cell," a German would refer to a cellular phone as a "handy." That name change took some getting used to. Hand me the Handy: How does that sound to you?

Sometimes I feel like I'm in Japan here. Why? It's a lot more formal than in the states, and there are tons of social restrictions and expectations that Americans wouldn't tolerate. For instance, the shopping mall I visited was as quiet as a library (no exaggeration). I went to Claire's with my neice so she could buy some earrings. I've been with my neices to the same store in the States, but the German version was crazy in comparison! In case you don't know, Claire's is a tiny store filled with too many racks of girly-girl accessories, loud music and uber-excited tweenage/teenage girls. But the German Claire's was sparse, with no music and nobody making any noise. Apparently, for Germans, shopping is akin to going to a funeral. I wanted to grab the manager and tell him to put on some disco and try to make the girls laugh and talk. But I don't think German teens are the type to giggle in public.

Oh, here's another way Germany is like Japan: you take your shoes off when you go into people's houses. And you put on a pair of bedroom shoes (cold floors). I haven't seen this many pairs of slippers before in my entire life. Germany is house-shoe-lovers-heaven. And the piles of shoes outside of people's apartment doors cracks me up. Somebody could trip over them! They just pile them in the hallway. It's great!

Aren't there some things that are like America? Yes! Well, kind of anyway. For example, we went to KFC here. BUT... The prices were sky high. The food was terrible. The portions were small. The customers were smoking; they even sold cigarettes in a vending machine in the restaurant. Do you remember those? Way to keep your European customers' health in mind, KFC! Moral of the story: When in Germany, stay away from US fast food chains.

You bag your own groceries at the grocery store, and you have to pay 50 cents for each bag. You can bring your own bags, and many people use wicker baskets. Remember, as you shake your head in disbelief, that their fridge's are the size of a mini-fridge we usually reserve for hotels and college dorm rooms. They could fill their fridge to capacity with a wicker-basket full.

Everybody walks and rides bikes or uses the train. Yay for eco-friendliness, but it's mostly the price of gas. It costs my brother ONE HUNDRED US DOLLARS to fill his car's tank. So, the next time you are tempted to complain about the high cost of gas, close your mouth and count your blessings. Oh, and they call it "petrol" here, not gas.

There is an entire 1/2 aisle in practically any grocery store filled with chocolate. The drug store doesn't carry contact solution. Nobody here has ever heard of a stain stick. They drink milk called H-milk that you can keep outside the fridge - warm milk, people. In fact, most drinks are served room temperature. So refreshing! Try washing your chocolate candy bar down with a tall glass of warm H-milk. Delicious!

JASON'S PICTURES

Overwhelmed, originally uploaded by extremeboh.

My buddy Jason titled this photo "Overwhelmed." Check out his other fantastic pictures on his flickr account!

LITTLE PIG, LITTLE PIG, LET ME IN!

Dan, David, and I took a country drive today and stopped by the Sniers Hus for a quick tour. Doesn't that name sound like a place Dr. Seuss would like to write a book about? We passed the museum the other day when we drove to the heide for our walk, so Dan knew I wanted to poke around and take some pictures. He picked a day when I was really zonked, though, so he drug me off of the couch and shoved me into the car. I perked up when we got here. It looks like a place our dad would really love, so I made a lot of pictures to show him.

The garden reminded me of pictures of Colonial Williamsburg. Looks like ol' Ben Franklin would feel right at home.

Straw roofs always remind me of the three little pigs. The Sniers Hus was built in the 17th Century, so it has some wickedly cool construction details. One of the barns was held together by wooden pegs.

We drove further down the country road and slowly passed a group of students learning horseback riding. They looked so proper in their riding outfits. Then we came upon this old house. It originally had a water wheel, missing now. Do you see the bridge on the right? A little stream flows by the house's side. The house, dating from the US civil war era, is sadly empty now. The family lives in a new home across the street.

Just a little ways down there was another mill. This one still had its wheel and still ground grain. It was built in 1758.

Opposite the mill was this building. I had to take a closer look, so Dan and Dave waited in the car.

When I stepped through the archway, this is the view that greeted me.

I quickly headed back to the car when I realized that I was standing in someone's private yard. I wouldn't want to disturb Sleeping Beauty.

THE AUTOBAHN, NEW FRIENDS, AND MORE WINDMILLS

photo credit

I thought you'd like to see what modern windmills look like here, since I've been showing you my pictures of the old ones, go I pulled this one off google. The new ones are about 10 stories tall. I always catch myself softly humming the Teletubbies song everytime I we pass them while driving the autobahn. Speaking of the autobahn, this guy passed us going about 150 the other day. Back home, only cops drive that fast! There's a saying that on the autobahn, you are either the hunter or the hunted. I saw a bumpersticker while we were driving once that read, "Don't hunt what you can't kill," or in other words, stay off my bumper if you don't think you can take me. Pretty much sums up the typical driving ethic on Germany's highways - and even on their sidewalks!

But not all Germans will mow you down. Many Germans I've met have been kind to me. Last night I visited Daniel and Annette's small group. It's an English-speaking Bible study. It was nice to fellowship with them and encourage ourselves in our faith. And tonight, I visited Dan's older friend, Herr I. again. He was hospitable, as usual. It was hard to say goodbye to him, but at least I will have one more week to visit the small group before I return home to America.

IKEA, A WINDMILL, AND A SOUVENIR KEY

After work today, Dan drove the kids & me to Ikea, a Swedish furniture store. This pair of lamps represents the style of furniture and housewares they sell. I was impressed that these were only 18 euros each. We had a snack at the hotdog stand while we were there. Everybody here seems to love sparkling apple juice. They mix half juice with half club soda. We actually mix it ourselves at the table, but today we bought it already mixed. I like it in bottles at holidays, but I'm starting to get used to drinking it every day.

On our way back from Ikea, we took a long drive around the countryside surrounding my brother's apartment. This is the second old windmill we've seen since I've been here. This one has almost completely been rebuilt as a meeting room where locals hold marriages and other events.

This old well marked the corner of a big farm. This country scene reminds me of a print my dad used to have in his home office.

The moss growing on the roof of this half-timbered barn is common around here. See the unmelted snow lining the street?

Right by this farm there was a little cottage that was being completely redone. A great pile of debris lined the curb beside the house. Mixed in with the old wood and carpet was an old chest. The antique trunk was way too big to salvage from the trash pile, but we pulled over so that I could remove the old skeleton key still stuck in the lock. I popped it into my pocket to keep as a souvenir of the day.

When we got home from our outing, David and I both pulled out our little gifts for Annette. In the store, most of the time I wandered around separately from David, so I was surprised that he and I both decided to buy his mom a little happy, since she didn't come with us. But I was even more surprised when, out of all of the things in that huge store, we both picked out exactly the same gift for her! What are the odds? I thought it was rather remarkable, to be sure.

DAY TRIP TO HAMBURG

Dan got off early from work again today, giving us more time for our escape from the house. Given the larger allowance of time, we decided to skip driving into Buchholz and caught the train to Hamburg.

At a deli in the train station, I noticed these open faced sandwiches made with raw ground beef. According to reputable sources, they are amazing popular around these parts. I think I'll stick to my standard cheese-bread. Thanks, anyway.

When we arrived at the city park, I couldn't believe how green the grass was, considering that the water was still frozen over, and small unmelted piles of snow were scattered around.

After walking in the park for a few minutes, we came upon a huge greenhouse.

The greenhouse was filled with all kinds of plants in different habitats. Here's David in the desert section.

We left the greenhouse and crossed the park to the rink. The girls planned to skate; we guys ended up setting off on an adventure of our own, rather than wait on a bench for two hours. More about that in a minute...

Ellen snapped this one.

Ellen and her friend Solvi

When we got to the rink, they were taking a break to resurface the ice, so we killed time eating a snack and playing on the adjacent playground.

Ellen shows off her mega jungle gym skills.

Doesn't every little kid dream of driving the Zamboni?

The skaters started making their way onto the ice, while the three of us made our way up to the balcony for a better view.

The little kids could skate holding onto little gnomes. I wonder if they have those in adult sizes? Can you tell why I wasn't out on the ice?

After watching the skating for a few minutes, we said goodbye to the girls and headed on a quest to find a church. We could see the tower in the distance, so we had a good idea of the direction we needed to travel. We started our walk and found the streets were pretty much deserted.

On our walk toward the church tower, we stumbled upon a block of old-looking houses. One was really old - from the 1770's; the rest were built in the 19'70's by a private foundation to resemble houses from that time.

We stopped by one of the buildings on that block so I could nab this photo of a window in an old door. Dan read the sign by the door and realized it was a museum or something and that it was still open for the day, so we knocked on the door, and a guy unlocked it and let us in.

The building ended up being a library owned by the foundation that rebuilt the block of historic houses.

The library was filled with books written in an old form of German. Dan had fun talking to the librarian. Dave and I amused ourselves looking at the display cases and paintings.

After we left the library, we kept on walking toward the church tower as the sky grew darker.

The church is named after the Angel Michael and has a statue of him over its front entrance.

I wasn't supposed to take a picture in the church, but, oh well, I read the sign after I'd already snagged this one.

When we got back to the rink, it started snowing! We guys stood on the balcony overlooking the rink and caught snowflakes on our tongues until the girls were ready to leave. Then we all made our way to the mall.

Can you imagine an American mall with a fruit and vegetable stand? I've never seen one, anyway. It's hard to believe the Germans are this into healthy eating.

I can't believe that German malls have real bakeries either. It's like I've died and gone to Bread-lover's Heaven.

A shopper bundled into winter clothes eyes the new Summer 2006 collection.

A cup of chai hit the spot before our train ride home. Thank God that coffee houses are something the US has in common with Germany.

STIR CRAZY

Illustration by Alli Arnold

Today was pretty much a lazy day of hanging around the house, we are all going a little stir crazy, what with the cold weather and all. Tomorrow we are supposed to get out of the house for a little adventure, at least driving into Buchholz or something. I'll keep you posted...

SNOWMEN, SNOWBALL FIGHTS, AND BOTTLE ROCKETS

winter makes a dramatic display in white here in Germany, that's for sure...I keep expecting to see the White Witch's sledge pull around the corner at any minute...