Some of the Legos I'll be listing...

LEGO

I'm selling my Lego collection to make some extra cash; I'm right in the middle of sorting & inventory...snore... And I decided that they would probably sell better put together instead of in zip lock bags. I can't just put them together the way they came from the factory because I bought them used and at different times, making any potential sets missing so many parts that it's hopeless. I checked out the prices of some "custom models" on eBay. After seeing the prices on them, I think I should choose "Master Lego Architect & Builder" as my new career. Hmmmm.... I think most of the serious Legofiles must avoid eBay for their buying/selling. I found a site called Bricklink that looks like it's their secret love nest. Seriously, I always thought it would be cool to be one of those guys who worked at Legoland doing nothing but making Painted Lady Victorians or Statues of Liberty from little plastic bricks. I never thought about freelancing it, but that just what Burik Models and Lions Gate do, and I'll bet a lot more, those are just the first 2 that turned up when I googled "custom lego models." Well, I guess I'll go to bed now and dream of mini figures and models. If you could build anything from Legos, what would you pick?

NEW BOOK

I just started reading Gordon MacDonald's new update of Ordering Your Private World. Heard of it? If you've read it, tell me what you think.

Here's a quote from the jacket:

"As a young, ambitious pastor, Gordon MacDonald was off to a fast start in a sizable congregation. A naturally gifted leader with a full schedule, he was a man of influence in his church and community. Pastor MacDonald was driven in his ambition to serve God and His people. Until the day he 'hit the wall' . . . . Driven people often project a bravado of confidence as they forge ahead with their acheivement-oriented life plan."

WELCOME HOME

I'm totally enjoying being with my nephew this month. He is hilarious. I am so glad that we share the same sense of humor; while he's kicked back on the couch, I can just lean back in the recliner and listen, laughing until my sides ache. Losing touch with my extended family these last couple of years, I didn't know what I'd been missing.

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PASSION OF THE MOMENT: YANKEE PUMPKIN PIE

From time to time I develop a crush that I've got to share. This week's is Yankee Candle Company's Pumpkin Pie Housewarmer. It's flickering next to me, lighting up the room with all the comforts of Grandma's kitchen on Thanksgiving morning & Christmas eve combined. What's your favorite Yankee Candle?

"I NEED TO HAVE A GOAL"

Wow. I just read another of Jim's entries in his blog, and again I'm going to copy and paste it here so I can easily reread it a few more times. This quote sounds like a strange hybrid of something I'd say at 20 and how I'm starting to feel at 30:

"It's crazy how right when you think you have life figured out, you end up confused again shortly thereafter (usually worse than before). That's how it's been here lately. I've been going to school for 3-4 months now, but it looks like if I continue according to their plan...I'll just end up some boring businessman - I'd honestly almost rather die. I know that living for that would kill me in the heart. I need to do my own thing. I'm not going to live life everyday doing something that doesn't make a difference...and come on...redesigning sites for some guy's company to make him more profit really doesn't matter...at all...in the slightest bit...What would be my dream job...? If I could pick anything it would be a photographer that does stuff like they do in National Geographic or something. I'd love to travel all over the world, go to remote villages or mountains or jungles and just take pictures. I've been told a couple times I should be a photojournalist... There is a great need for that in the Christian community. Someone to inform people on what is going on. Maybe I could find some way to combine web design, photography and writing. I like doing all three...I need to have a goal...some way to use these three things soon...hmmm..."

RESTORATION

I just found a blog entry written by a guy named Jim that I totally identified with. He explained a concept that I struggled in vain to explain to one of my matches on eHarmony. She asked me what my goal for my life was. I told her I wanted to be the man God made me to be. Here's what Jim had to say:

"I don't want to kill it. I want to be who God made me to be. I have to admit, right now, I'm quite far from being that person. The real me just sits in hiding, afraid to come out. This isn't good at all. God has put things in me that other people need, but instead...I'm distant, detached, and afraid to love the people that God has put in my life. 'You're such a jerk' Satan chimes in, 'That person needed encouragement, but once again you failed to give it - That person needed you to love them, but you were too afraid...as usual.' Good thing I serve a God who is going to finish His work in me. Jesus came to 'bind up the brokenhearted, [and] proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound' Isaiah 61:1 KJV. My heart is His now. There is nothing that He can't fix and there is no situation that is hopeless with Him. He is restoring my heart everyday."

I guess that's my goal. I want to be restored.

I think I've figured out what attracted me to the stories of those three characters from the past. They weren't too afraid to care.

HEROES

It's 2:42 on a Saturday morning, and here's what I'm thinking about. The three books from my childhood that had the greatest impact were The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson, The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boon, and The Biography of Jane Addams, the founder of Hull House in Chicago. It was the personal connection that I felt with the main characters that made these books special to me. I identified with them in a way that I'm trying to piece together this morning. What was it about them that made me connect with them? I loved them, of course. Who wouldn't? All three were heroes, but I read a lot of stories about heroes. Not all of them were special to me - just these three. Why are they in my mind now?

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OKLAHOMA!

Kari took me to see Oklahoma! in Monroe tonight. Reading the casts' biographies made me want to go into full time theater, but then I thought, "Wait a minute! Weren't you planning to change to a career that would make you MORE money?!?"

Speaking of actors, I'm hoping to travel back at the end of the month to see Ryan and Amanda when Ryan's students put on their show. (Mental note to double check the dates). I found out he just auditioned for a commercial. I can totally see him becoming famous.

PREMATURE

I had myself totally convinced that I was OK about Katrina. No more grieving, just moving on. "I'm finished with this whole grief thing; I'm just excited about the possibilities." I can't believe I even thought that, much less spoke it to a friend.

So, I went to Gulfport and had breakfast with Ryan and his girlfriend Amanda this morning. And then I visited Chris and Wendy. And then I left and went home, forsaking the rest of the day's plan. I just couldn't handle being in Gulfport anymore. I needed to get out of there, for sanity's sake. My thoughts wouldn't stop racing. My heart wouldn't stop hurting.

I'm just not ready yet.

RUBBER SHOES

While visiting a big city, I went into a discount store's shoe department and asked the clerk where I could find a pair of rubber shoes. She smiled and led me directly to...the galoshes! I was surprised and amused, since (and you true country Southern boys and girls who are reading this will know this already) I was requesting the location of their selection of flip flops. I didn't bother to explain the clerk's mistake to her, but I thought you might enjoy the joke. I surely did.

ELEVEN BUCKS AT KINKO'S

$11.oo spent at Kinkos...lots of eHarmony communications...3 downloads from iTunes...finally getting to the blog...can't wait to get home internet access again!
eHarmony has been like being at a dinner party/mingler with lots of cute girls, so I'm, of course, enjoying it. But having dated so few women, I feel so inexperienced and not at all dating savvy. Some of the women I'm talking to seem a lot more experienced with this than I feel. Isn't learning fun?
With some encouragement from friends (you know who you are) I have decided to take that month-long trip to Germany this Christmas. It will actually be a little over a month to avoid the price increase in tickets. Spending time with my brother and his family is exactly what I need right now. It will give me the time to get my brain back in order, and they are exactly the next ones I need to be around when I need to be grounded in who I am in relation to my faith and family (after being with family on American soil).
I'm on a leg of my life's journey that I never anticipated, but I'm past the grief for the most part (though having everything I own crammed into crates in my parent's living room is something I could live without right now) and moving into the excitement of all the possibilities that starting over in this way allows.
I'm headed to the Coast tomorrow for the first time since moving out what I salvaged after the storm. Time to tie up some loose ends and say some better goodbyes to three of my friends. Breakfast with the first, lunch with the second and dinner with the third. Sounds delicious, ha ha.
I'm going to a play with my brother's girlfriend this upcoming Tuesday. I'm filling in since he's back on duty with the LA national gaurd. Having him on a two week break has been great, and the whole family hated to see him go back, but duty calls, you know? I'll still be staying at his place the month of November before I leave for Europe, keeping his girlfriend and son company. I'm hoping to make a couple weekend trips to see my bro's family in Arkansas - camping - yipee!

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HOME

Tonight I had dinner with Gwen, an old friend from college. It was so good to catch up and reminisce. After dinner we went to Joe Muggs for dessert. There we ran into 2 more old friends. Bumping into people I know is one thing I love about going home.

my neices and nephew at myrtle beach

MRYTLE BEACH

One week in Mrytle Beach is long enough to lose track of what day it is... Ahhhhhhhh, relaxing.

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GERMANY FOR CHRISTMAS

Since I'm taking a break from work, I'm totally enjoying seeing my family again. (I keep expecting somebody to hand me a Christmas gift, though, since that's usually the season that brings all of us together under one roof).

Speaking of Christmas, I talked to my brother Dan tonight about the possibility of nabbing a cheap (ha ha) ticket to Germany and spending a couple three weeks sharing their fa la la's, ho ho ho's and the like.

What do you think? Should I go to Germany? Maybe I'll never come back... It could happen. What would Mom and Dad think about me moving to Germany (or to Japan to teach English at a university) the same year that Dan moves back home to Mississippi?