MY COLLECTIBLES

I'm uploading photos of my junk onto flickr so I can eBay it all and liquidate these assets, if you will. Other flickrites have been admiring all my chotschkies. One lady commented that my house must be filled with collectibles. And I thought, "Yes. Unfortunately for the person who has to dust them, that's true." But I won't have that problem much longer. My clutteritis is going into remission.

If you are a clutter-bug or a pack-rat, then you'll love Kaboodle's new My Collectibles. Even if you are a neat-freak, you'll get a laugh from some of the strange collections people have uploaded. Check it out.

RUNNING WITH SCISSORS

My mom and I acted out a scene today that beautifully illustrates the generation gap. Yep, it's alive and well, folks. Imagine my 71-year-old mother chasing her 31-year-old son around the house with a pair of scissors. No, she wasn't trying to hurt me. Her intentions were good.

Was she trying to cut my hair? Kill an angry attacking bug? Nope. She was trying to cut the fringe from my blue jeans. She caught sight of it dragging the floor and tried to snip it off before I noticed. When I saw what she was doing and resisted, she started after me. (Call the mom police - she ran with scissors!)

When I finally got her to stop chasing me, I tried to explain that I wanted the fringe. In fact, I had paid extra to buy jeans that were already comfortably worn. "If you cut it off," I explained, "you'll be cutting $20 off the value of these pants." Of course, my analogy was too much for her midcentury mindset. "How old are you?!" she quipped, implying, I guess, that I have the fashion-sense of a teenager.

My answer: too old to have my mother dictate what I wear.

DIAL 555-BLINGO

Today's an anniversary of sorts. I've been buying and selling on eBay for five years, five months, and five days. This morning, I was surprised while completing a Paypal transaction, when I glanced up and saw the trio of fives. The number five represents grace. Selling online requires a lot of it, so I guess that's an appropriate coincidence.

Speaking of cool online stuff: Kate responded to my mini-survey about search engines. Today, she sent me a link so I could sign up with Blingo. It's a Google-powered search engine that gives users the chance to win prizes! Kate's already won all this stuff:

- Kate won a $100 VISA GIFT CARD (5/16/06)
- Kate and her friend Beth each won A $200 VISA GIFT CARD (4/12/06)
- Kate and her friend Jennee each won an iTunes gift certificate (3/28/06)

So, I'm signing up under Kate's account as her Blingo Buddy, and every time I win a prize, she wins the same prize. Cool, eh?

Wanna' be my Blingo Buddy? (Here's when I shamelessly remind you of the prizes.) PRIZES! PRIZES! PRIZES! Go get 'em!

Click the blue button:

DIET, RESOLVED

I was feeling blah about changing my diet, but I just read two AP articles that strengthened my resolve. You might want to check them out, too. The first one is about giving up soft drinks. The second covers the difference between good and bad fats - and how the bad ones will MESS YOU UP. So here's the remix: bring on the carrots!

IF MAMMA AIN'T HAPPY...

If mamma aint happy..., originally uploaded by Patrick Q.

Here's another installment in my wacky adventure called "moving back in with my elderly parents." Fleas invaded the house and the a/c was off all day long. So it was pretty much a day spent in h***.

On the flip side, I did get a lot of eBay photos taken. This is one of them.

WHO WILL UNLOCK THE MYSTERY?

I have weened my TV habit down to regularly watching only one program. Kyle XY somehow weasled its way into my "Best of the Worst" slot. It beat out shows like.... Well, there was no competition this season, since Lost is on hiatus and Taylor's fling on AI is done. The real selling point for Kyle is availability. I can download episodes on iTunes if I happen to miss one of its two weekly broadcasts.

So, each Monday night I find myself on the couch spacing out to ABC Family. Side note: I don't want to live with the guilt of recommending trash TV to anyone, so I won't recommend the show. In fact, I advise you not watch TV at all. Spend all your free time reading blogs. They're better for you.

Anyway, I was watching the show, and I realized that the main character is a mixture of two familiar characters: (1) teen Superman and (2) Mr. Data from Star Trek, the Next Generation. Kyle XY is Super Data XY!

Kyle is a genious with amnesia. He doesn't know his own name or birthday. And we find out as he tries to adjust to life with a new foster family, despite his seemingly supernatural intellect, he doesn't understand the rules that make the world go round. It's that amalgam of super-human ability and child-like naiveté that is Kyle's defining quality. And it's the key to the show's appeal.

I guess I identify with Kyle for a couple of reasons. First, Kyle is a symbol for our international politics. Just like Kyle, America recognizes her unique abilities. She knows she is special and has superior power. But, just like Kyle, she is not as as experienced as her peers. She constantly finds herself making embarrassingly bad decisions, despite her promising qualities.

And I can identify with Kyle personally, too. I can easily imagine myself in his place. I'll bet a lot of people can. Just like Kyle, we are mysteries to ourselves.

OK GO

Well, you know I've been thinking about dancing while running on the treadmill. But I'm not quite this dextrous on the thing. I've never heard of this group before, but I give OK Go kudos for this publicity stunt - posting the video to youtube is a great idea!

Speaking of videos, now that I'm on Firefox rather than IE, I can download clips like this one, instead of just watching them on youtube. Woo hoo! I'm loving Mozilla more each day.

THE WIDE WORLD

globe, originally uploaded by Patrick Q.

This week I'm finally getting some more auctions up on old eBay. I'm selling stuff like this globe. (Wanna' buy it?) It's taking me a little too much effort to get back into the swing of this - lots of time taking photos, writing descriptions. But it will all be worth it when the bags of cash money dolla' start rolling in. (Just keep tellin' yourself that, I tell myself.)

LIFE IN A BOX

The Cubes - Bob, originally uploaded by thepretenda.

I've seen these cubicle toys around on flickr and was wondering who made them. I finally found a link.

LUNCH?

I'm ready to end this, originally uploaded by Patrick Q.

Today I looked at my lunch plate and thought, "Hey, this couldn't be more unappetizing." I'm happy about shedding a few pounds, but I just wasn't in the mood for carrots and a pita today. Blah.

IF I HAD A NICKEL...

645 photos 26,645 views 2, originally uploaded by Patrick Q.

When I first joined flickr, I never expected this many people to view my photos - 26, 645 views! WOW! I'm not sure what to make of it...

BROWSERS & SEARCH ENGINES

In my ongoing quest to become more web-savy and computer literate, I'm changing web browsers. I've just axed Internet Explorer and installed Firefox. (It's free!) I'm already happy with the change. The "tabs" feature alone made it worthwhile. What a time saver! And I've heard that besides being easier to use, Firefox also promises to be the more secure choice.

I'm also installing Greasemonkey. It's a free Firefox extension which lets you add user scripts to tweak the websites you frequent. I want to iron out some hassles I've experienced with flickr, like my long list of alphabetical groups with no way to reorganize them. I'm sure I'll find some other useful scripts to try out. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

I'm curious. Which browser are you using? IE? Netscape? Safari? Firefox?

On a similar subject. what's your favorite search engine? Metaeureka? MSNsearch? Alta Vista? Yahoo? Google? With so many choices, it would be nice to hear your opinion.

HIT IT

I run at the gym six days a week. This week I've increased my distance. Every day I've been reminded that running is mostly a mental battle. But I've had a game plan.

Every time I'm tempted to slack off and quit early, I make myself start thinking about taking dance lessons with Pauline. It's something we've been planning lately, and the thought of it helps motivate and sustain my workouts. I mean, who wants to be a wimp out on the dance floor? Another mile? Bring it on!

COOKBOOKS

My Cookbook Collection 016, originally uploaded by Patrick Q.

I'm busy photographing every cookbook I own - about 50 in all. Then I'll get rid of them. They take up some hefty shelf space, and I only use a handful of them. How did I ever end up with so many of them? Do things seem to magically populate your home, too?

NOT THAT SMURFY

Living in rural Mississippi, I was surprised when a RadioShack opened up in my small town. I prefer to buy most of my electronics online, but today I needed something for the computer, and I didn’t want to wait. So, I decided to give the new store a try.

When I stepped through the door, I noticed something, or more like, a lack of something. Where was the stock? The store was bare – only a couple of racks and shelves with a few stereos and a remote controlled toys. One look around, and I wasn’t even sure if the place had batteries, much less what I needed. Realizing I was probably in trouble, I asked the guy at the counter.

"Nope," he said. "Don’t have it. Got a nice goat, though." (OK, maybe he didn’t say goat, but he might as well have.)

"No. Thanks anyway," I turned on my heels for the door.

"Have a nice day!"

"You bet."

Total wash out. My first clue should have been the hay bales at the entrance. I guess that’s what I deserve for getting my hopes up. I won’t even bother checking out the new (limited menu) mini-McDonalds that just opened up in the gas station. I’ll bet they don’t even have milkshakes.

I’m glad to see my hometown growing, but something isn’t always better than nothing. Take the once locally-owned grocery store, recently bought out by a chain. (For anger management reasons, I won’t even mention the video rental place.) The grocery does good business dealing a few necessities: milk, bread, eggs, cigarettes, and diapers. But the rest of the stuff, while technically "in stock," has been sitting on the shelf or in the freezer a long time. If you buy anything there, you’d better check the expiration first. The town’s just too small to turn over stock fast enough to keep up with the dates.

I can understand why corporations think they can open up miniature chain stores in small towns like mine. The main reason must be high gas prices. It used to be no big deal for small-town shoppers to drive thirty miles to the city when gas was only a buck-a-gallon. But now, it’s like, "Hmmm…I wish the store were closer, or that I could have that delivered!" So, I get the point of these smurf-stores, but they are a strange kind of growth. They somehow make the town seem even smaller and less convenient.

When I think about it, I have to trick myself into thinking of my stay here as an adventure. I imagine myself living in the Wild West. Inconvenience goes with the territory. So what if Frontier Bandits held up the Stagecoach? Who cares that my USB cable, the one that should have been on aisle two of the General Store, is out with the tumbleweeds, lost someplace on the prairie? After all, that’s just the way life goes when you’re a Bold Pioneer, like myself.

I can live without milkshakes, after all. Eventually, though, I’ll have to change my tune from, "Don’t Fence Me In" to Lisa’s lines from the "Green Acres" theme song. There’s just too much city in my blood to make this return to the country a permanent move.

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG

iBlog, originally uploaded by stublog.

That is the question.

WHITEWASHED

blown out, originally uploaded by Patrick Q.

Since growing the beard, I'm feeling like I'm all hair - the rest of me just blends into the background. I'm thinking of going all out hippie - letting it all grow until I can't stand it anymore. I can see that homeless/Jesus look working for me.

THERE'S A STORY IN THAT

Ever heard of Scotia, California? It's a company town that looks like a movie set because everything in its 500 acres is owned and controlled by Pacific Lumber. It's old (founded 1863) and quaint. All 275 cottages are painted in the same pale colors. The town has a single restaurant - located in the ground floor of the only hotel (built in the '20's). There's an elementary school, a firehouse, a few shops, and two churches - all owned by the company. There's even a baseball diamond, a community center, and a museum. The company provides all security, maintenance, and utilities for the town, even passing out free firewood in the winter. The unemployment and crime rates are virtually zero. That should be no surprise, since only employees and their families live there, and everyone in town knows one another.

Can you imagine what life might be like in a place like that? But the setting changes as soon as you leave Scotia. Across the river is the town of Rio Dell (population 3,174). How does it compare to its idyllic neighbor? Cross the narrow green bridge that joins the two communities, and it's like you are stepping from the beauty of the 19th Century back into the problems of the 21st. Lining Main Street is a clutter of cheap restaurants and ramshackle gas stations - no matching color schemes here. Rio Dell's economy is depressed. Some residents are unemployed. Others are even homeless. And the crime rate? The local police answer about 3,200 calls a year.

Can't you just see the kinds of characters who might live in towns like these? My mind started racing when I first read about them in the New York Times. Why are they making the news? Pacific Lumber has decided to sell Scotia's homes to its residents and is pushing a deal to turn all municipal responsibility over to (you guessed it) neighboring Rio Dell. Imagine how much life will change for the residents of the two towns as their worlds collide. It would make a great story, don't you think?

Speaking of settings, I've also been thinking about writing a story set during the weeks surrounding Hurricane Katrina. I've got an idea for the narrator, too. Imagine a small child who loses his home in the storm and is sent to live with relatives in the East. His siblings are split up and sent to various states to live with friends and family. His mother goes West to work and support all of them, while his father stays in a tent down South to battle the beurocrats and try to salvage what he can of their possessions and old life. I'd tell the story primarily from the youngest child's POV, mixing in letters and phone calls from the rest of the family. I keep thinking about his story. It's fictional, but it hits close to home. I know people who are still living in tents or who had to abandon their homes and start over in strange new places. I feel the story growing inside me, and I think I'll be able to tell it eventually. Similarly, I'm finding myself connecting with the towns of Scotia and Rio Dell. It's only a matter of time before I put words on paper. This is a first step, right? It's been a long time since I've written fiction, but I'm excited that I've finally got some ideas buzzing around again.

BLOGS OR ADS?

I was just checking out the page of recently updated blogs here at Blogger, and I noticed that most of the blogs are bogus - random junk with a lot of ad links. Why doesn't blogger nix all the spam blogs? How do you cut through through the dross to find the silver lining here?

OVERHEARD

Last Tuesday, I accompanied my nieces on a field trip to the McWayne center. While we were there, I noticed that a couple of the six-year-olds were fighting. You'll want to know a little of the conflict's background to really appreciate the story. The little girl is the teacher's child. That morning, while her mother wasn't looking, the girl hit the little boy and pushed him out of line. Then she tattled on him to her mother (the teacher) for being out of line, and the teacher scolded him. By lunch, he'd had plenty of time to brood. He sat down across from her and began his revenge:

He: "I'm gonna' kill you as soon as you're away from your mom."

She: "I'll just stay by my mommy, then."

He: "Well, you're a big chicken!"

She: "I am not"

He: "Oh, yes you are. Look at yourself! You're growing a beak!

She: "Shut up!"

He: "Oh, I'm eating chicken nuggets. Sorry about eating your relatives!"

Brings back memories of childhood, doesn't it? Oh, to be young and in love.