KATRINA

I am a refugee. On the road all day, fleeing the hurricane, I've used nothing but public restrooms. I haven't even washed my face; we left right after I ate my last bite of raisin bran. Without a shower and dressed in yesterday's laundry, I finally arrived at my sis's house in B'ham about an hour ago. I say finally because we'd been in town a while. Sa and her family got a later start leaving Mom & Dad's house than Jen and I did, so they arrived hours after us. While waiting for them to unlock the house, Jenny and I were left to wander around the Summit, taking in a movie and listening to music at Barnes & Noble. Doesn't sound too bad, until you consider how we looked and how we smelled. Ha ha. All the well-dressed couples on dates gave us funny looks. It wasn't just my imagination, was it? Wish I had taken a few more clothes in my rush to evacuate. Wearing the same 2 t shirts and shorts may get old. Looks like the storm is headed right this way, so I'm left wondering when we can return south. It was hard to take the storm seriously after the last one was a false alarm, for us, anyway. So I left my electronics and clothes and pictures and... Oh, well. I've heard Katrina compared to Camile about a hundred times today, so I'm imagining catastrophy waiting for us with open arms. Hearing horror stories about category 5 hurricanes obviously planted some deadly seeds in my brain. I was impressed with the number of friends who called to make sure I was getting out of harm's way. And just like the last storm, Inoticed how friendly people became when they heard about the hurricane. We were greeted by countless friendly, loud voices at every restaurant and gas station where we stopped. Most were from the New Orleans area - judging from accents and license plates. Even lots of H'Burg residents left (Jen included), letting me know that the storm really is serious, but we couldn't convince Mom and Dad to evacuate with us. What is it with older people and their houses? It's just a rental, for Pete's sake. It was certainly a strange end to Dad's birthday celebration this weekend. One minute we were cutting cake and the next we were throwing clothes into travel bags and filling jugs with drinking water. If you pray, please ask God to protect the people in the path of this storm. I'm sure most were as surprised by the category rating as we were. Wish they all could have driven out of harm's way.

WAR AND PEAS AND QUIET PLEASE

I took my class to the public library today. The trip cast me in a role I hate: drill sergeant. Picture the line of perfectly uniformed teens melting on the library lawn in the hundred-degree heat as I read them the riot act. "In public libraries we speak in quiet voices. We do not throw books or rough house. We do NOT talk or laugh in loud voices. We whisper!" Though unpleasant for us all, the lecture seemed to work. As the librarian issued cards and gave them a tour, they were as quiet as mice. After learning to use the card catalog, they dove into the stacks like accomplished bibliophiles. While the herd grazed, I set out to round up the stragglers - helping them find books on appropriate reading levels. Two students presented books for my approval, "Are these on our reading level?" One was holding a beginner board book (the laminated kind that keeps toddlers from wiping peas and carrots into more delicate pages). The other held an enormous copy of War and Peace. I broke my own rule and laughed out loud. Sometimes I take my job too seriously. Do you think that's what they were trying to tell me?

BULLSEYE

Target is hitting the mark with its new line of furnishings and accessories by Thomas O'Brien. Have you see any of these pieces of retro coolness? They look like I designed them. Literally...it looks like ideas jumped off the pages of my sketchbook and into the photos of a magazine spread. Why can't Wal-mart follow their lead? Good design for all!

LIKE ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY

Bryant and Alicia brought the kids over to the apartment for an ice cream snack after work today. I invited them on the spur of the moment. It was such a hot day; I thought we all needed a big scoop of ice cream. After we ate, the girls played, and we talked. They gave me good advice and prayed for me. I'm encouraged! Thanks, God.

BLIK

You never know what you'll learn by reading Business 2.0. The new one has an article about Scott Flora and Jerinne Neils -- the creators of Blik. Maybe I've found the solution for my apartment's zero-art problem. Check it out and tell me what you think.

MASTER THESPIAN

Jon Lovitz is funny! I'm excited to see his name on the roster for the new Producers. He is the Master Thespian! And he and Victoria Jackson will always have a place in my heart. Who's your favorite SNL vet?

TOP 3 FUNNY QUOTES FROM SHORT CIRCUIT

1. "NO DISASSEMBLE! Number 5 is alive!"
2. "I am standing here beside myself."
3. "What do we do now?" "Well, I don't know about you, but I am planning to scream and run."

FINE ART

I was browsing eBay today for midcentury modern - just window shopping. I ran across a pair of Elvis-looking motel lamps. The picture was enjoyably ugly, so I saved it. Then I ran across a similar picture and then another one. I'm going to Snapfish them into 8x10's. I wonder if my friends will get my attempt at witty irony. I can't afford something from a gallery or Museum store, and I'm not putting some Monet from Walmart on my walls. Yep, gaudy lamps taken with a cheap digital camera will have to do. I guess they'll be my tribute to Warhol - a protest to overpriced snooty art . Why isn't decent art affordable?

MOUTH WATERING VS EYE WATERING

Terry and JoEllen treated me to dinner at Sakura last night.   The atmosphere in the restaurant was so restful; I didn't want to leave.  And the food was fantastic - a pleasant surprise.  My first experience with sushi had me fearing the worst.  I'd eaten it once with Casey at a Chinese buffet, but it was nothing like this!  The buffet sushi was so bad that we drowned it in spicy mustard so hot it made our eyes water.  That was not the case at Sakura!  When matched choptick to chopstick, the two places are not even in the same league.  Everything I tried was delicious, but I especially liked the california rolls and smoked salmon sake.  If you haven't been brave enough to sample sushi, I recommend it.  But make sure you spring for the expensive stuff, or the tears in your eyes won't just be from the mustard.    

EMAIL SURVEY #2

Here's another one. Do I secretly like these things? I think I must since I copy and paste them here. What is it about these email surveys?

1. What is your occupation? teacher
2. What color is your underwear? novelty print
3. What are you listening to right now? Vin Diesel's voice on the TV
4. What was the last thing you ate? French Toast for dinner, baby!
5. Do you wish on stars? Yes.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? red
7. How is the weather right now? fair; 83 degrees
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my mama
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I like everybody I meet...eventually
10. Favorite drink? milk or water (Can you believe water has its own web site?)
11. Favorite sport to watch? MS Sea Wolves hockey
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? nope
13. Do you wear contacts or glasses? both
14. Pets? hamster, fish, bird
15. Favorite month? December
16. Favorite food? fresh-baked bread, hot from the oven
17. What was the last movie you watched? XXX: Special Edition. I'm so high-brow. Ha Ha.
18. Favorite day of the year? CHRISTMAS!!!! Merry birthday to me & Jesus.
19. What do you do to vent anger? spend a few dollars from the fuss budget
20. What was your favorite toy as a child? Alvin & the Chipmunks' Curtain Call Theater. My Lionel train set is a close second place. My Kodak disk camera, too. Remember those?
21. Fall or Spring? Fall
22. Hugs or kisses? hugs
23. Cherry or Blueberry? cherry (Sorry, Dad)
24. Do you want your friends to emai l you back? I never forward these things
25. Who is most likely to respond? n/a
26. Who is least likely to respond? n/a
27. Living arrangements? 2 bedroom apartment
28. When was the last time you cried? 20 minutes ago
29. What is on the floor of your closet? my record collection; crates of costumes; other junk
30. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Melissa Vaughan
31. What did you do last night? dinner & a movie at Ryan's house
32. Favorite smell? baked goods in the oven
33. What inspires you? supernatural self-sacrifice
34. What are you afraid of? I've got nothing to fear.
35. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheeseburger!
36. Favorite car? my 2002 2-door black Chevy Blazer (dream car = Toyota MR2 spyder)
37. Favorite dog breed? Lab
38. Number of keys on your key ring? 2
39. How many years at your current job? 1 at the private school; this is my 6th year teaching
40. Favorite day of the week? Fridays
41. How many states have you lived in? 3 - Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee (Go Vols!)
42. How many cities have you lived in? 8 - Jackson (birthplace), Knoxville, El Dorado, Purvis, Hattiesburg, Biloxi, Ocean Springs, Gulfport

I'M NOT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL FOR MAYONAISE

Terry and I were fixin' supper tonight. He needed mayo, but I left it in the fridge at school in my lunchbox with the tuna. That's the way life can be when there's a teacher in the house. Need the hammer? Needle and thread? Scale? Just about anything useful? Too bad. They live in the classroom now. Even my DVD player was stolen by the classroom last year, but the apartment had temporary custody over the summer and hasn't sent it back yet. Does your job steal your stuff, too?

NET BRAIN

Ryan and I grilled steaks and watched The Day After Tomorrow. While watching, I realized that one of my favorite actors - Ian Holm - is in that movie. I really noticed him after watching him play Napoleon in The Emperor's New Clothes. He's been in 110 movies & TV shows. Can you imagine? I'll bet he'd have a hard time listing them from memory. While Ryan and I were talking about Holm's impressive number of roles, Ryan admitted that he couldn't remember all the parts he'd played over the years. I guess it would be like me trying to remember every child I'd taught. At least Holm can look himself up on IMDB. Don't you wish every cool thing you ever did was listed on a website? Is that why half the world seems compelled to blog?

FULL LOVE TANK; EMPTY GAS TANK

Mom and Dad drove down Sunday to see the final performance of the musical. Kim drove from Ocean Springs. Having people in the audience made it so much more fun.

It took 8 hours to strike the set. Werner used a lot of screws building that boat! After I bade farewell to the cast, I left grudgingly for the school office where I made copies until 11:30. When I got home, Terry and Jo were watching TV. We decided to go to Waffle House, so I didn't hit the hay until around 2. Sunday was a long day!

Monday was packed, too. After school, I met up with Chris and Josh. We swung by home depot and picked up some shelving, then hit the schoolhouse and installed them. Afterward, Josh and Chris made dinner for their families and me. Terry and Jo joined us, too. I brought dessert - lemon creme pie.

The conversation was the best part of the evening. Because of the rehearsal schedule, it's been so long since I've been able to talk to any of them. Chris kept hinting that he wants a video camera from Wendy for his birthday this week. I suggested that we use it to make some home movies - some silly skits or something - and then get together for a night of eating popcorn and laughing at what we tape. We could make the video Drew Carey style with a "Who's Line" theme. Or we could write a script. What should our first feature be about?

I drove around with Sherman tonight. He and I were talking about the rising gas prices. I'm thinking about buying a cheap bicycle for my quarter-mile work commute. Do I need a license to drive a bike on the street?

LONG LIVE LOUIS?

I almost burned my muffins, but I didn't. I think it made them better - being rescued from the flames.

I say I almost burned them, because I forgot I was making muffins. I was really into this DVD I got from Netflix today. It's called "Louis Prima: The Wildest." Watching his performances, especially those with Keely Smith, confirms his place of honor as my favorite entertainer.

I can picture my Dad putting Prima on the turntable and taking a spin around the living room. Dad is a great dancer, and he loved to show out for me when I was a kid. Come to think of it; I think Mr. Prima will have to take second place to my dad.

REALITY BITES

Kill reality TV.

SALADE AVEC UN AMI

Ryan and I had the salad bar at Ruby Tuesday's last night. For some reason, I always put raisins on my salad there, though I never do so at home. I guess it's just the power of suggestion. If I kept raisins next to the croutons in the pantry, I'd probably eat them on salads more often. Gross?

We decided to go to Ruby's after the rehearsal fell through due to lack of interest. Most of the actors blew it off. Seeing the different ways everyone reacted to the situation was entertaining, to say the least. I'd classify the scene as one half angry mob and one half toga party.

We have been in performance mode for what feels like an eternity, so I enjoyed goofing off for a few minutes with them. I noticed that everyone seemed unusually loud - a normal enough response after forcing yourself to be so quiet backstage. It's hard to believe it's almost time for the cast party and striking the set. I have mixed feelings. If you were Delilah, what song would you play for me?

WHAT IS BEAUTY?

Hmm?

'90'S RAP

I heard a minute or two of '90's rap on the radio. Who knows why, but the sound made me think of pool parties. Why is that? Don't bother with the obvious, because the pool parties I went to never featured Fresh Prince and his cohorts.

BOUNCER NEEDED - APPLY WITHIN

Apparently, there are two kinds of employees in this world: the ones who work and the ones who interrupt said work in their endless pursuit of small talk. Lordy, I wish everybody would leave me alone so I could get my work done. What I need is a secretary to guard the door - or a bouncer! How can I get them to leave me alone without being rude?

OFF TO SEE ME?

If I could be a character from The Wizard of Oz, I think I'd either be the Wizard or the Gatekeeper of the Emerald City. Which character would you be?

I've really always wanted to be a doorman, anyway. I like the uniform and the idea of getting big tips just for saying hello all day. The USA Today recommends giving your doorman $100.oo cash for Christmas. They recommend giving your child's teacher a $10.oo gift from Target. Should I apply at the Ritz Carlton or the Astor?